Fragmented reality

Augmented reality is a new buzz word. It’s an interesting concept, where a device such as a mobile phone adds extra content to what’s visible in the real world. Google Wave is another much hyped about innovation. It puts typical Internet tools like mail, calendar, bulletin board, forum, chat and what not in a single wapp (web application). Not through a suite, as one would expect, but through a fairly simple, three panel window. I got access three weeks ago, which I didn’t expect. When Gmail was still in beta, somebody finally invited me only a week before it went public. Obviously this tells you more about the meagre state my social network is in, then about the master of the Nets, but that’s a different story.

I see people tripping over each other to tell us how revolutionary Wave and augmented reality are and I believe them. I want to believe them. I’m a bit short of money right now, so if I get a change to stay ahead of the masses and make some bucks out of it (instead of them profiting from me) I take it with both arms. So yes, I did jump up from my chair and made a small victory dance when I received the invitation.

But there’s one thing that bothers me a little. Most of the time I find it difficult to deal with the reality of my place in time and space. Everything in the real world is a distraction from itself. While I feel comfortable focusing on just a single aspect of life, I need to divide my attention over many things: marriage, parenting, health, job, housekeeping, family and society to name a view. I can hardly digest the vast amount of data that reaches me through good old web pages and mail. My reality is already fragmented as it is, why should I want to augment it with waves?

I love everything that goes down in the world of Information and Communication Technology, so I most likely will try very hard to understand these innovations and learn how to use them without actually using them. If I’m lucky I will be ready in time do dive into the next invention.

Play Waves by Holly Miranda (as long as it’s available)

Short story, long history

So the interview has been given, the story has been written. The journalist was nice, which in my case means that she didn’t talk too loud, approach me to closely or make too much hand gesture. There was nothing to her that could distract me from our conversation.

The yet to be published article gives a balanced but summarized view on Asperger Syndrome. I was surprised to see how tension became some kind of red threat in the story. It wasn’t supposed to become the story’s subject, but it is indeed a very important facet of my life. It feeds the dementor within, that will suck all joy and compassion out of me if it sees a change. To keep it tamed always consumes a lot of time and energy.

A week has past since the interview and today was the first day that I felt recovered from it.

It’s pervasive

One more thing about the interview I blogged about yesterday.

I’ve been told that the goal of the interview is to get a nice, short, readable portrait of someone with AS. So the last few days I’ve been trying to summarize and categorize all symptoms and effects of this abnormality in my mental system. But I’m all over my ears into AS (after all, it is pervasive) and it turned out to be impossible to caricature myself and be able to tell an easy to digest story of my life. I’m afraid I have to leave that to the journalist. This is also difficult, because controlling the image (aka masking the disabilities) always used to be a big part of social interaction.

I’m Ben and I have AS…

October 10th is World Mental Health Day. Every year the Psychological Health Foundation in my country chooses a new theme for WMHD. This year it’s Autism. I’ve been asked to give an interview for a special Mental Health Day magazine. They asked me because I’m a middle aged (46) dad who suffers from Asperger Syndrome.

I’m abnormally insecure about meeting with the journalist tomorrow, as I always am when I get to meet new people. In my head I’ve already had the interview at least a dozen times and I feel quite exhausted now. Nevertheless I think it’s important because some people might actually benefit from my experience.

I’m most concerned about the impression I make, because I don’t want to make it look as if I suffer badly from the disorder. Me and the family don’t need help from outside (apart from some guidance) to get by, so we’re rather fine. Another thing that worries me a bit is the response I might get from people who know me, but who don’t know that I have Asperger. Will they try to avoid me? Will they start talking to me as if I’m a child? At least tomorrow won’t be the first time I go ‘public’ about my ’situation’. I’ve done that today already, by blogging about the upcoming interview.